guata

i think i´m just starting to find my feet, and my balls for that matter!
going it alone has its ups and downs but i suddenly really like it. although sharing an experience is really amazing and i miss just looking at someone i know, at that key moment, and knowing that there´s a blueprint of it in their mind too, the freedom and adrenaline of going solo kicks cucu.
some places i´ve been i don´t know whats more irritating, us "the gringos" or the mosquitoes and i frequently muse on the similarities.

spent this morning freezing and roasting myself on volcan pacaya with a hilarious mountain goat-like guide... the infamous calves were stretched to their limits but well worth it. also i found out that volcano skree-skiing is an olympic sport, its ace fun, i´m in training for london.

a few days later...
creation seems to be rearing its head in every flavour, whilst elegant and fragrant there is no lack of spice, everything is fullbodied, vibrant, tantilising and fresh but the sadness, hardness and poverty can leave you with such a bitter taste that is hard to shift and in all honesty i ache to do some work here and get my hands dirty instread of just tasting the bitterness and covering it with the sweetness of the next thing i see.

some of the people here are so beautiful, natural and so generous with their nothing and others are cautious and resentful of your fortune in being born pale/western/"rich".

and a few days more...
i´m now in guatamala, accompanied by bad white wine and a beautiful fresh avocado, reggae sounds wafting, beautiful lago de atitlan before and surrounded by dark, moody looking mountains (obviously rewriting now in a less idealic internet cafe) amongst the mountains are several gatherings of lights, less that there were a month or so ago as whole pueblos were destroyed in flooding and lost to mud.

the week ahead holds hammocks, jungle, mayan temples, many hours on chicken buses i imagine, new people and more bad spanglais. i want desperatley to emmerse myself in the language but i fear the loneliness this brings. i´ve learnt how much i love the english language and how i hate it for being such a huge obstacle for me.